Challenging Your Faith

I thought this week would be interesting to learn about the types of experiences that have rocked my parent's faith. As I child you think of your parents as indestructible and constant sources of reliability. Well in my life, I have been blessed to have such rock solid parents, something that modern media tells me is not normal. They chose to raise their children in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints church. The principles and concepts taught in our church have helped provide all of us with a sense of faith in our Savior, Heavenly Father, The Holy Ghost, and the Plan of Salvation. In many ways, I feel like the principles the church teaches about charity, love, foreignness, sacrifice and family have helped me each day to want to be a little better. Let's see what experiences have shaped my parents:

Has your faith ever been tested?  What did you do?  Did it destroy or build my testimony?


Mom: Well, first of all I must admit that I leaned on my parents testimonies until I actually attended college at B.Y.U.  It was while taking a New Testament class that I found my testimony of the Savior.  My testimony of the gospel has grown immensely since then through reading the scriptures, through spiritual happenings and through many answered prayers.   

No, my faith has never been tested and let me explain why.  I have a strong testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father and in the Holy Ghost.  No matter what terrible ordeal or trial I have experienced in my life, I would never put that burden on the Savior. He was not the cause of my pain and suffering.  Always remember, people,disappointment and sickness can cause pain and suffering. The Lord is there to help you get through those ordeals.  

Yes, we are given trials in this life, but we are given only the trials that we can physically and spiritually handle.  I see so many people blaming God or pointing their fingers at the Lord to blame Him for their troubles and bad experiences.  This is not correct.  My faith in people may have waned over the years, but my faith in the Savior, Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost will never wane.  Our Heavenly Father and Savior love each one of us.  They want us to be happy and they are always there for us no matter what the challenge.

Dad:Its important to acknowledge the difference between being tested and your faith being tested.  I am often tested with the challenges of life like a job loss or the rude things a person you trusted says to you in a moment of weakness.  Faith is tested when we do not understand modern revelation and how it relates to our progress. With the differences of "being tested" identified, here is my answer. 

My faith has never been tested in a way that would cause me to doubt Him and His Father's plan for our family.  I believe those who blame the Lord for their misfortune or perceived spiritual slight have not developed the spiritual maturity and knowledge to access revelation that comes from the Holy Ghost.  Receiving the confirmation of the Spirit does not come in the moment we ask very often.  If it did, then we would not develop the faith required to trust the Lord in all things. Sometimes, the greatest challenges of our faith result in our greatest growth.

One of the greatest challenges to my faith came when Emily was sick with kidney cancer.  I struggled to understand what I was to learn with my baby daughter sick in the hospital?  Had I done something wrong that caused this calamity to befall her?  What more could I do to qualify for His healing hand to cure Emily?  It became clear in my mind and heart as the Lord revealed His will to me, that He had great plans for Emily and that all would be settled according to His plan.  This feeling of peace and confirmation came in a Sacrament Meeting during our singing of "As Now We Take The Sacrament"  on page 169, by Lee Thomas Perry who is L. Tom Perry's son. 

That song was sung on the first Sunday Roseanne and I attended Church together since Emily went into the hospital.  Emily was still in the hospital getting treated that day.  As we attended Church, we were both fairly shattered emotional, physically, and spiritually as we went through this trial together.  We had hardly completed singing the first two measures of the first verse, when I started to cry knowing that the Lord would save Emily.  As I looked at Roseanne, she also had tears in her eyes and understood the power of the words and the confirmation of the Spirit I was feeling. 

The second verse it reads: 

 As now our minds review the past,

We know we must repent;

The way to thee is righteousness--

The way thy life was spent.

Forgiveness is a gift from thee

We seek with pure intent.

With hands now pledged to do thy work,

We take the sacrament.

These words were a message to me to try a little harder in my callings; to be a little kinder to others; to be more patient with family members; and to change my heart to be more like the Savior.  My feelings of self doubt were washed away and I have never felt that way again.

Finally, the third verse:

As now we praise thy name with song,

The blessings of this day

Will linger in our thankful hearts,

And silently we pray

For courage to accept thy will,

To listen and obey.

We love thee, Lord; our hearts are full.

We'll walk thy chosen way.

This verse is probably the most powerful for me.To me it said, that even if Emily was taken from us, that it would be the Lord's will and everything would be alright. I needed courage to accept His will, even if it was contrary to my desire.  I promised then to listen and obey the Lord because I have chosen to walk in His way. 

From that day until this last Sunday, when we sang this song again in Sacrament meeting, my mind is always taken back to that Sunday in August 2007. I still cannot sing that song without shedding a tear of gratitude to the Lord for his mercy, love and loyalty to our family and me. 

In 2011, I was called as Bishop of the 9th Ward, San Antonio West Stake, and it was always kind of embarrassing when I was on the stand as Bishop and would sing this song with tears rolling down my face.  My councilors wondered why this song affected me in this way and I would tell them the story of how the Lord blessed and still blesses our family on that fateful Sunday.

So in answer to your question, what did I do when my faith was challenged? I humbled myself to understand the mind and will of the Lord regarding me and our family. I became a much stronger, better father and husband because of this experience. My testimony would not be what it is today without this painful and beautiful experience.